Technically, Who Defines My Diversity?
Do you crave
More for yourself
Than anyone can imagine?
How does it feel
To put in work
And not have
Financial stability
Or recognition
To show for it?
Fighting for what
You have built
Inside you.
Feeling like everything
You have accomplished
A prerequisite.
Check your paycheck.
You are worth more.
You always will be.
You had to learn quickly.
Rest only comes in safe spaces.
You are saving your sanity
In the most natural way.
— Page 55, I Write Letters in my Thoughts
I started writing in a journal at 12 and spent all summer and every other weekend with my father. In and out of court because of my parent’s divorce and then my own bad behavior. I had no defined community to turn to. All I knew was that I didn’t fit into what was considered “normal.”
I want to tell you about:
- Who I am
- The power of advocating for diversity
- Breaking systemic cycles of silence
- Who I am
In 10th grade, I wanted to join the Puente Program. The only program with a college readiness focus on campus targeting the Latino community if you weren’t in the academy. My Latino high school counselor told me no because I’m half Egyptian and Guyanese. Fair. However, my young self wanted to access opportunities, so I pushed back on my high school counselor and pleaded my case. He asked the class (who were, thankfully, all my friends) if I could join the program. They responded with a resounding yes.
The lesson is that the administration didn’t guide or check on me. I had to advocate for myself.
College visits to UC campuses and writing prompts opened me up. Through the Puente program, I was introduced to an opportunity to join the Spirit Awakening Program. A creative writing program for juvenile youth also found its way into our high school as an after-school program. It was my first time sharing my writing with an intimate group.
By the age of 16, I applied to college with a writing prompt signaling for trauma porn. Underrepresented communities are asked to prove their worth to gain acceptance into the pearly white gates of higher education. And we want a better life for ourselves and our family. I shared my personal story, one that should be earned through trust, to be told. But when an opportunity is on the other side, and the ask is to trigger your trauma, as Nike says, you…just do it.
The college application process would be my introduction to “belonging” to a predominantly White and Asian community.
In my senior year, my Latina high school counselor, who graduated from UCLA, told me I wouldn’t get into any of the colleges I applied to because of my low test scores. I got into UC San Diego. I went on to fail a couple of classes, but I also graduated in four years. My high school counselors didn’t know anything about me—not my resilience, my work ethic, or my drive.
I come from a single-parent home. My mom worked two jobs and went to school in the evenings with me, sitting in the back of the classroom. I have no extended family in California. Most of my family lives in Canada and Egypt. And my mom lost everything she worked for fighting for custody of me.
Post-high school, I no longer had the opportunity to have friends vouch for me to afford me opportunities. In 2011, in preparation for pursuing my MBA, I came across Management Leadership for Tomorrow (MLT)—a program for Black and Latino folks to prepare them for business school. I had friends who recommended the program. However, I did not qualify based on my racial identity. Serendipitously, I oversaw our corporate partnership with MLT while working at LinkedIn. I also managed and mentored a few of their students.
I was also interested in The Consortium, an opportunity to pursue my MBA on a full-ride scholarship to a business school. I quickly learned the program targeted Black and Latino communities, and again, I did not qualify.
I highly recommend MLT and The Consortium for those who qualify and are pursuing their MBA.
I sought organizations early in my career and in pursuit of a Master’s degree to support me financially and through mentorship. I found program after program, but none that I qualified for.
A decade later, I completed my Executive MBA. It took me a while to find my rhythm of pursuing my educational aspirations while working full-time and navigating the tech space. All while away from family and friends, my support system. Today, I’m still paying off my education loans.
2. The power of advocating for diversity is important.
Without support or a defined community, it’s made everything 4,322,343,287x harder. I’ve had to advocate for myself in an American society that historically continues to redefine diversity. Many of our narratives are similar regarding the lack of opportunities, especially in academia and the workplace. The fluid definition of diversity excludes or includes people who access opportunities at any given time.
I’ve had to find my own way. No safety net to catch me. No financial support from anyone. No mentors throughout my career who care about my well-being. I’ve been told, you shouldn’t have to ask someone to be your mentor; they will approach you. Nobody has approached me. And those I approached did not have my best interest at heart. You can’t force someone to care about you or your well-being. Let’s think about that in the context of professors and managers who need to care about our well-being as we look to advance and access opportunities.
Why should you care?…
How do we ensure diverse communities thrive?
While programs are being created with targeted communities in mind, we should use them as a learning opportunity. What if we leverage programs as pilots in the short term to address systemic change that needs to take place to create economic opportunity for every member of the global workforce? We can use what we learn to create processes with the most underrepresented communities in mind and hold ourselves accountable for inclusive practices in the long term.
I know I will never fit into a box. I remember a few years ago when two or more races were added to the U.S. Census. I was ecstatic. Not only because I was now represented but also because I knew the data had been dirty all along. I am also aware that inclusive options are not included in job applications. It gives me a glimpse into the data being collected. One can only hope the data is being evaluated and examined for the company’s inclusive practices. We have an opportunity to share and learn globally—many global US companies start by investing in their North American programming and practices.
Even when based in the US, we can approach diversity from a global and inclusive lens with the most marginalized groups at the foundation.
3. Breaking systemic cycles of silence
We can’t talk about the power of defining one’s own community without considering how it breaks systemic cycles of silence. Like many, I come from a family that tells you to be quiet and put your head down in the workplace. They say to be grateful for the opportunity.
But why stay if I’m not being seen, heard, or valued for the work I’m contributing?
Navigating society in our political climate inside and outside the walls of academia and work has led me to be the voice in the room you haven’t heard from. I am constantly being put in a place to prove my value by having a seat at the table while bringing my own chair.
I know my work in the diversity space is bigger than me. I do it for the generations who follow. Shouldn’t we be making it easier on them rather than harder? We have to care enough to hold ourselves accountable for communities to thrive.
Conclusion
You never know who you or a loved one will fall in love with. What struggles will your loved ones embody as society tries to put them in a box or exclude them from opportunities? I come from a family of atheists and all faiths. Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, Christian. Mixes of cultures, religions, and disabilities. Love has no boundaries.
While there are many things we can focus on in the diversity space, I want to focus on the danger of who defines our diversity. We are currently defined by people with homogenous families. People from communities without a person of color in their bridal party. We need a global and inclusive lens with the most marginalized at the foundation to define diversity, especially in tech. When we define our diversity as a community, we stop tokenizing diversity, inclusion, and belonging. Rather, we create a diverse community where relationships matter in honoring each other’s humanity.
I break systemic cycles of silence by using my voice to narrate my story. Technically, who defines my diversity?
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